Words of Wisdom

Much has been said about Barack Obama’s infomercial set to air tonight that will outline his economic plans and what it might or might not say. Well, here at Words of Wisdom we have acquired an advance copy of the script for tonight’s show and I wanted to share it with all of you out there in blogland.

A man is standing beside a hospital bed which holds an elderly woman with various tubes connected to her. The man looks extremely worried as he pats her hand with his.

Man: Mom, I just don’t know what to do. With no insurance, we’ve been forced to use all of our life savings to pay hospital bills and our homes are being foreclosed on. Little Timmy’s school is falling apart and I’ve just been told that the job I’ve been doing for the past 20 years is being moved to China. I’m scared, mom, I’m scared.”

A beautiful woman in a business suit walks into the hospital room.

Woman: What would you say if I told you there was hope? How would you feel if I told you that your job, Timmy’s school, your home, and even your mother’s life could be saved?

The man looks up with a questioning look in his eye and shrugs his shoulders.

Man: Really? But, how?

Woman: Let me tell you about a revolutionary system that will change the way you live.

A picture of Barack Obama winking and giving a thumbs-up appears on the screen.

Woman: Tomorrow we face an important vote for the future of our very nation. Do you care about the future of health care?

Man: Well…yes.

Woman: Do you care about the economy and lost jobs?

Man: Yes, of course.

Woman: Then the choice is clear, vote for Barack Obama for president.

Man: Now, wait a minute. How much will health care, jobs, and a good education for our children cost me?

Woman: Would you believe me if I told you nothing?

Man (looking very skeptical): Nothing?

Woman: Nothing. Nobody will see their taxes increase unless they make over $250,000 per year.

Man (still skeptical): Can you really do that?

Woman: Would you like to see your future?

Man: Well…sure, who wouldn’t?

She pulls out a crystal ball and sets it on a table between them.

Woman: Look into the crystal ball and see what the future may hold for you.

The man bends over and looks into the swirling air inside the crystal ball. He sees his mother on her feet and playing racquetball, looking very healthy and agile. He sees himself parking a brand new car in front of a new school building and walking his son inside.

Man: But, wait a minute now. This all seems so unbelievable.

Woman (smiling): Let me introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Laura.

A woman appears on the screen. She is dressed in a thin shawl and shivering in the cold wind. A small girl in ragged clothes is holding onto one of her legs and sobbing.

Woman: As you can see, Laura and her daughter were struggling under the old economic policies. But look how life is for them under an Obama presidency.

The scene changes to a sunny day. Children are laughing and playing. Laura is well-dressed and radiant with a huge smile. Next to her is her daughter, also well dressed and sitting atop a pony. Laura turns to camera and smiles, her teeth gleaming.

Laura: Thank you, Barack Obama!

Woman: You see, not only was Laura able to better her family’s situation, she was even able to buy her little girl the pony she had always wanted.

Man: Wow, that’s just amazing.

Woman: But wait, there’s more. Not only will our nation thrive economically, but President Obama will bring with him a new era of peace and prosperity such as the world has never seen. There will be rainbows and sunshine everyday and everyone will have a smile on their faces. Supplies are unlimited!

Scenes flash by of Muslims, Christians, and Jews smiling and hugging each other and of Africans gathered around tables full of food.

Man (smiling with amazement): Where do I sign up?

Woman (with a short laugh): All you need to do is show up on election day and cast your ballot for Barack Obama. And make sure you tell all of your friends and family as well.

Man: Wow, thanks. I can feel my life improving already! Thank you, Barack Obama!