Words of Wisdom

For three years now, the first 2 at Yahoo 360 and the last 1+ on WordPress, I have been putting my thoughts on everything from the world of entertainment to the political issues of the day to my somewhat unorthodox beliefs on faith and society upon this lifeless computer screen for all the world to read, and I am very thankful for everyone who has tuned into my meandering thoughts and become a part of this small community in the ever-expanding blogosphere. It has become a very important and therapeutic piece of my life through which, for once, I feel as though I can actually express my thoughts, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

Face-to-face I am not a talkative, outspoken sort of person. With the exception of only a handful of individuals in my life, my inner thought processes had remained hidden from public view, locked away in the well-guarded vault of my mind. Prior to blogging and opening my soul to the cyber-world, my introversion knew few bounds.

So, why do I feel the freedom to be so much more open in writing rather than in person?

In my case, I think it comes down to a perceived lack of ability to answer coherently from the top of my head, which has led to a very non-confrontational attitude toward others, even those with whom I vehemently disagree, in a face-to-face setting. My deficiency in this area may be partly subconscious stemming from failed discussions in the past due to my being more of a contemplative, questioning thinker instead of a shoot-from-the-hip bumper sticker type, but much of it comes from a true inability to process information quickly which can be easily seen as a product of having suffered massive head trauma. It is this condition, which I later learned was actually classified as a learning disability, that keeps me silent in most situations. Over the past almost fifteen years, I’ve learned the hard way that my brain doesn’t store information like it used to or like others do. So, if I choose to engage in any type of discussion, from Sunday school to personal conversation, I find myself being particularly guarded. Too many times I have found myself on the receiving end of an opposing debater’s verbal onslaught, picking apart the tiniest of phrases in an effort to disprove whatever statement I might have made and to make spectacle of the lack of information I am able to spout off at any give time.

Thus, I choose to write my thoughts and feelings. Over the past three years this outlet has allowed me to express myself in ways that I have never really done before. I’m thankful for the opportunity to write and I’m thankful for those of you who choose to read. It’s really helped this introvert to come out of his shell a bit….just don’t expect me to speak up in Sunday school anytime soon…