A Realization of Sorts February 11, 2009
Posted by Matt in Christian Beliefs.Tags: atheist, christian, conversation, friendship, respect
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We have a small group from our church that meets in our home on Wednesday evenings and something came to mind that I have known for some time, but had never really put into words. Our group leader posed a question about talking to “nonbelievers” and whether or not we found that sort of conversation easy or difficult. Due to a fussy baby, I missed out on making my thoughts known to the group at an appropriate time, but later I was able to stop our fearless leader and let him know just what was on my mind.
You see, one of my very good friends is an avowed atheist. This friend is one of the few people I know that I can actually talk to about important things and, in turn, they can confide in me with neither of us passing judgment on the other. They are a very intelligent person and there is a mutual respect between the two of us, which has led us to many long conversations on subjects that nearly everyone else I know would shy away from or resort to nonsensical pat answers and name-calling.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much easier it is for me to talk to someone with this sort of mindset than the vast majority of those who profess the Christian faith. Most of the Christians I know are overly judgmental and all too eager to write those who disagree off to some imaginary land of eternal torture. They are quick to point the finger and slow to offer a hand. They are so consumed with the need to be “right” that they refuse to even entertain or show the slightest amount of respect for any opposing ideas.
So I treasure the relationship I have with my atheist friend. I have no illusions of trying to “turn their heart” or any of those other Christian cliches, instead I just appreciate them for who they are and I’m pretty sure that they do the same for me.
Now if only Christians could do the same…
Yes, it’s sad how Christians can be their own worst enemy. And worse when someone aims to become a friend to a non-Christian purely for the sake of making them a project (“I Shall Convert Thee!”) A lot of people quote 1 Peter 3:15 about being ready to share the reason for your belief (I’m paraphrasing) but they forget the last part – “with gentleness and respect.”
I agree your friendship with your friend is very valuable, and treasure what it provides you. You may have a Christian friend with whom you can feel encouraged and reassured, unlike what your atheist friend can offer. And you never know, your honest questions, discussions and sharing may have an impact on her that you are unaware of at this time. With the rapport you have, she’ll feel comfortable turning to you, whereas she’d run a mile from the other Christians you mention.
Blessings
i have a friend who is a church of christ youth minister in a small town in oregon just a few hours south of me. he is able to share with me all of his fears and darkest secrets about his homosexual tendencies. he knows i am an agnostic but he still loves me. even though he can’t answer any of my questions about christianity, we still have a great relationship. i’m not trying to turn him into an agnostic or a gay. i hope he isn’t trying to turn me to christianity.
i guess my point is that we should all love each other.
lol!!!!!! You suck PDX
I don’t know who pdx is, but that was funny…
matt. i think you and i are kindred spirits. we both think making fun of brian is funny.
btw…love the blog. love the music choices. i’ve posted under pat b a week or so back.
i have found a different language for understanding our christian heritage. i too grew up in the cofc and spent years and years at acu and harding. things just didn’t fit for me as easily as it did for others. so, 10 years later i find myself in an emerging community of believers who take the bible seriously, just not literally. if you haven’t read them already, i recommend marcus borg’s reading the bible again for the first time and the heart of christianity.
keep asking questions and pushing the comfort zones of sedentary christians. it’s good for us and it’s good for them. plus, it’s fun!!
peace be with you my brother.
Glad to have you here, pdx/pat b. I read that book over the past year or so and I credit it along with several others for helping to shape my views on things.
Glad to have you here and hope you continue to comment.
what are the several others you read?
btw…the avett brothers is the best band in the world right now…next to radiohead of course.
So far that is the only book of Borg’s I’ve read, but I’d like to pick up some more when I have the opportunity. Other authors that have had a fairly recent impact on my worldview are Brian McLaren, Shane Claiborne, Donald Miller, Bishop Spong, Jim Wallis, N.T. Wright, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Lee Camp, etc. I could easily go on with a few dozen more, both Christian and not, that have been very influential as well.
too bad all of those dudes are going to hell. they seem like great guys.
Yeah, I can’t say for certain that they followed the “plan of salvation” so you are probably right…
And I agree with you about Radiohead probably being the greatest band in the world, though I’d say Wilco is up there. While I really like the Avett Brothers so far, they still have some ways to go.