The Cubicle Life November 1, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: cubicle life, monotony, office job, the outside world
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The walls of my cubicle are drab and gray, enclosing me in a cocoon of dreary angst, one in which every contact, whether personal or electronic, could destroy the positive vibes developing from this day. The otherworldly glow of fluorescent lights above illuminates my office, but I can feel the sun and the outside air calling me, beckoning me to come nearer, to join them in the neverending dance of nature. I pine for the Fall breeze, the colorful leaves, the absolutely perfect day happening at this very moment, of which I am acutely aware but cannot see. I straighten up ever so slightly in the vain hopes that perhaps I may see the sunlight from a faraway window, that maybe the sight of blue skies will suffice in filling this longing. Peering over the edge of the low cube wall I can almost catch a glimpse, when suddenly I hear a voice.
The guy in the next cube glances up at me expectantly, “Need something, Matt?”
Shaken from my trance, I answer with some embarrassment, “No, just stretching.”
I go to down again, to assume my position in this 8×8 cell, when I see a figure in my peripheral vision. It’s a higher up boss and he’s heading my way.
I duck down and try to keep low, but seconds later he descends upon my box-like domicile.
“Hey, Matt, had a chance to work on the abc reports (not the real name of a report, but easier to type for this story) yet?”
“Uh,” my mind goes blank for a moment, “I was just working on that.”
“Ok, great, great. Hey, do you think there’s any chance you could include some more data in it?”
“Well, sure I guess. I mean it’s already several thousand lines long, but I’m able to add more to it.”
“Great, well could you add ‘d’ to it, please? And could you divide that into periods and locations?”
A weight falls on my head as I consider the consequences of this action. “I can, but you do realize that will make this report over 100,000 lines long, right?” In my head I’m wondering how any mortal being could ever find the time to comb through that type of data as I talk, but in deference to authority, I keep my mouth shut.
“Yeah, sure, that’s fine. The more the better, right?”
I let out a fake chuckle, all the while questioning the sanity of my coworkers, “Yes sir, I can get it.”
“You know what else would be great, Matt? Could you also add part ‘z’ to the report?”
“’Z’? I don’t think that exists.”
“Well, then you’ll just have to create it, right?”
“Uh, well, I…”
“Thanks, Matt. I’ll need that by tomorrow.”
And so I get back to work and dream of green grass and sunlight.
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