Presidential Write-Ins November 20, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: Florida, presidential election, write-in votes
One of the many interesting things about our democracy and our voting process is that we are not constrained to only vote for a certain number of candidates. Though our ballots may only list the requisite few, there is also a line reserved for those wanting to truly exercise their freedom – the Write-In. The Write-In vote allows a person to cast their lot for anyone or anything, regardless of how unlikely or preposterous they may be. Well, the state of Florida has just released their write-in votes from our most recent presidential race and they are quite entertaining. Check out some of them below:
234 Hillary Clinton
174 Ron Paul
23 None of the Above
21 Mike Huckabee
14 Mitt Romney
8 Colin Powell
6 Left Blank
4 Steven Colbert
3 Donald Duck
3 Mickey Mouse
2 Bill Cosby
2 Chuck Norris
2 Sarah Palin
2 George W. Bush
2 Tim Tebow
And those receiving one vote included: Bill Clinton, Bill O’Riely, Bobby Bowden, Bugs Bunny, Me, Mr. Bill, None (Anarchy), Oprah, Hilary Bush, Homer Simpson, Joe the Plumber, Jimmy Carter, John Doe, Theodore Roosevelt, They Both Suck ’08, Tommy Chong, Tiger Woods, Weird Al Yankovic, and Willie Nelson
P.S. That was the actual spelling given for Bill O’Riely, which I believe needs no explanation.
P.P.S. If I wrote my name in, could I put “Former Presidential Candidate” on my resume?
Newsworthy Technology November 6, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: CNN, hologram, president, Princess Leia, Star Wars
1 comment so far
There are always interesting new pieces of technology put to use during political races – whether that be through touch-screen technology or the employment of chat rooms and Twitter, but on Tuesday night, CNN definitely took the cake for this cycle. In case you missed it, CNN actually used a three-dimensional hologram to aid in their reporting.
I kept expecting her to say, “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are my only hope.”
The Morning After November 5, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: apocalypse, Barack Obama, president
Upon awaking this morning I was not sure what to expect. When I gazed out my bedroom window, what sight would meet my eyes?
Would the city around me lie in ruins and desolation, a smoldering ash heap where the last tenets of Capitalism had been utterly destroyed? Would Barack Obama’s visage, complete with a Hitler moustache and turban, be plastered upon the sides of what few buildings remained standing? Would dark-skinned minions be riding about armed with bullwhips which they would crack across the backs of any white people who dare get in their way? Would every church building be burned to the ground and every Bible converted into toilet paper? Would every baby be chunked into the Nile (or maybe the Mississippi in this case)? Would the stars and stripes be replaced a sickle and hammer? Would America, and perhaps the entire world, be no more?
So it was with a sense of apprehension that I arose from my bed and shuffled to the window in the dark. To my great relief, there was no smell of burning sulfur and no screams of the tortured and dying. The neighboring houses had not been transformed into raging infernos. The sun did not turn black nor did the moon turn to blood. There were no earthquakes, floods, famines, or pestilence – at least not here. There were no demonic armies girding themselves for the battle of Armageddon.
Instead I was greeted by blue skies and sunshine and a feeling that things were going to be just fine. The long dark night is nearing its end and the new day is dawning.
Yes We Did! November 4, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: Barack Obama, president
A new era is upon us. The dream has finally been realized. The mountaintop has been reached. Congratulations, President-Elect Barack Obama.
Voting For Change November 4, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: Barack Obama, change, hope, president, vote
The ballot has been marked, the die has been cast, and now is the time for the anxious waiting. These post-vote feelings of confidence and joy are new to me, for I don’t believe I have ever actually felt good about the candidate for whom I have cast my ballot. Today, though, is a different story. There is change in the air, a certain electricity traveling along these invisible currents and charging us with a strength and a hope that tomorrow will be better than today. Despite the inane rambling accusations of those standing in line around me (the lower gas prices are a conspiracy between Obama and the Arabs!), a new day is dawning.
As the great prophet once said, the times they are a-changin’.
Political Predictions November 3, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: Barack Obama, electoral college, John McCain, predictions, president, vote
add a comment
Get out your pen and paper (or your keyboard for those of you “modern” types) and ready yourself for the following prognostications of what you can expect to see tomorrow, some “words of wisdom” if you will.
In Senate elections, the Democrats will expand their current 51-49 majority somewhat, but not quite enough to reach the fillibuster-proof 60. I expect them to pick up 7 more seats: Alaska, Colorado, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oregon, and Virginia. There is a slight possibility that the Dems could also take Kentucky, where candidate Bruce Lunsford is trailing incumbent Rep. Mitch McConnell 44-50%, and/or Georgia, where Democrat Jim Martin is trailing incumbent Saxby Chambliss 44-49%. Unless something completely unexpected happens, the Republicans will probably not pick up any seats from the Dems. So, after tomorrow, expect a Senate split 58-42 in favor of the Democrats.
In the most anticipated and most closely-watched contest set for tomorrow we will finally (hopefully) witness the climax of this nearly 2 year presidential campaign and its endless supply of unfounded accusations and surname-less blue collar workers. And this election cycle’s top prize will go to…..I know the suspense must be killing you….could this be any more anticlimactic?….the one….the only…Barack Obama!
My Electoral Vote Prediction:
Popular Vote Prediction:
That means that Obama will pick up 8 states that the Dems lost in 2004: Colorado, Florica, Iowa, Nevada, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.
What do you think? Any predictions out there in blog land?
Obama’s Infomercial October 29, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: Barack Obama, humor, infomercial, president
Much has been said about Barack Obama’s infomercial set to air tonight that will outline his economic plans and what it might or might not say. Well, here at Words of Wisdom we have acquired an advance copy of the script for tonight’s show and I wanted to share it with all of you out there in blogland.
A man is standing beside a hospital bed which holds an elderly woman with various tubes connected to her. The man looks extremely worried as he pats her hand with his.
Man: Mom, I just don’t know what to do. With no insurance, we’ve been forced to use all of our life savings to pay hospital bills and our homes are being foreclosed on. Little Timmy’s school is falling apart and I’ve just been told that the job I’ve been doing for the past 20 years is being moved to China. I’m scared, mom, I’m scared.”
A beautiful woman in a business suit walks into the hospital room.
Woman: What would you say if I told you there was hope? How would you feel if I told you that your job, Timmy’s school, your home, and even your mother’s life could be saved?
The man looks up with a questioning look in his eye and shrugs his shoulders.
Man: Really? But, how?
Woman: Let me tell you about a revolutionary system that will change the way you live.
A picture of Barack Obama winking and giving a thumbs-up appears on the screen.
Woman: Tomorrow we face an important vote for the future of our very nation. Do you care about the future of health care?
Woman: Do you care about the economy and lost jobs?
Man: Yes, of course.
Woman: Then the choice is clear, vote for Barack Obama for president.
Man: Now, wait a minute. How much will health care, jobs, and a good education for our children cost me?
Woman: Would you believe me if I told you nothing?
Man (looking very skeptical): Nothing?
Woman: Nothing. Nobody will see their taxes increase unless they make over $250,000 per year.
Man (still skeptical): Can you really do that?
Woman: Would you like to see your future?
Man: Well…sure, who wouldn’t?
She pulls out a crystal ball and sets it on a table between them.
Woman: Look into the crystal ball and see what the future may hold for you.
The man bends over and looks into the swirling air inside the crystal ball. He sees his mother on her feet and playing racquetball, looking very healthy and agile. He sees himself parking a brand new car in front of a new school building and walking his son inside.
Man: But, wait a minute now. This all seems so unbelievable.
Woman (smiling): Let me introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Laura.
A woman appears on the screen. She is dressed in a thin shawl and shivering in the cold wind. A small girl in ragged clothes is holding onto one of her legs and sobbing.
Woman: As you can see, Laura and her daughter were struggling under the old economic policies. But look how life is for them under an Obama presidency.
The scene changes to a sunny day. Children are laughing and playing. Laura is well-dressed and radiant with a huge smile. Next to her is her daughter, also well dressed and sitting atop a pony. Laura turns to camera and smiles, her teeth gleaming.
Laura: Thank you, Barack Obama!
Woman: You see, not only was Laura able to better her family’s situation, she was even able to buy her little girl the pony she had always wanted.
Man: Wow, that’s just amazing.
Woman: But wait, there’s more. Not only will our nation thrive economically, but President Obama will bring with him a new era of peace and prosperity such as the world has never seen. There will be rainbows and sunshine everyday and everyone will have a smile on their faces. Supplies are unlimited!
Scenes flash by of Muslims, Christians, and Jews smiling and hugging each other and of Africans gathered around tables full of food.
Man (smiling with amazement): Where do I sign up?
Woman (with a short laugh): All you need to do is show up on election day and cast your ballot for Barack Obama. And make sure you tell all of your friends and family as well.
Man: Wow, thanks. I can feel my life improving already! Thank you, Barack Obama!
Not My Family Tradition October 23, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: Hank Williams Jr., John McCain, maturity
1 comment so far
Back in my high school days, much of the crowd that I ran with could best be described as, well, redneck. I had friends who dipped Copenhagen and sported Confederate flags (note: There is a 15 year old photograph in existence where several of us posed behind said flag. Needless to say, any hopes I might have of running for public office are out the window). We drove pickup trucks down gravel roads and through any mud puddles we came across. Though I never joined them in owning firearms and was always a bit queasy at the idea of shooting an evolutionary cousin, we did find a unifying factor in country music, but not just any old overproduced Nashville garbage, we went for the outlaws, in particular, Hank Williams Jr.
Countless nights we would spend driving backroads or sitting around a campfire singing aloud to Hank’s tales of debauchery and rebellion. Songs like “A Country Boy Can Survive,” “Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound,” and “Family Tradition,” were staples among our little group.
But, times have changed. I grew up and moved away from the small town life, embracing my inner liberal and growing out of that music phase that involved Bocephus. Even the nostalgia that I feel from hearing these tunes today is coupled with a certain amount of cringing. Unsurprisingly, Hank is now putting out ads that support John McCain.
I wonder if he’ll play, “If the South Would Have Won (We’d Have it Made)” at any campaign rallies?
Supporting Obama in Republicanland October 20, 2008Posted by Matt in President 2008.
Tags: intimidation, Obama, Republicans
Our neighbors across the street (who we really love a lot) had something unfortunate happen to them over the weekend. They are an African-American couple around the age of my parents (maybe a couple of years older) who made the decision to move to Southaven from Gulfport, MS, following hurricane Katrina.
Our two families are the only ones that I know of who outwardly support Obama in our neighborhood – they have yard signs and I have a bumper sticker. Well, over the weekend, somebody walked into their yard, took their Obama signs, smashed them and threw them into the street. While my car has yet to have anything happen to it, I can’t help but wonder if it may soon be targeted as well. At the same time, if nothing does happen to my car, I can’t help but wonder if our neighbors are the target of some intimidation tactics which may be racially motivated.
So, I almost want somebody to come and steal my bumper sticker and confirm that, though we may live around a bunch of Philistines, at least they aren’t racist Philistines.
By the way, how about Colin Powell’s endorsement of Obama this weekend? Does this partnership dispel McCain’s condescending assertions that Obama “doesn’t understand?”