Nerds Unite! February 3, 2012
Posted by Matt in music, random.Tags: Ben Nichols, Dungeons & Dragons, Jason Isbell, Lucero, nerds are cool, Ryan Adams
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I always thought I was just part of a select group of weirdoes, for it seemed the road I and a few friends traveled growing up was certainly one less traveled, one that might induce eye-rolling, side-glances from others.
We played Dungeons and Dragons.
As a teenager, the made up fantasy stories and characters were an integral part of my life and my friends and I would gather together on a regular basis to put our fates in the rolling of oddly shaped dice. Sure, it was dorky, but it was a lot of fun.
And it turns out we weren’t the only ones.
A few months ago, I learned that Ben Nichols (to take it even farther, he reportedly thanked his D&D character in the liner notes of their album Rebels, Rogues, and Sworn Brothers), lead singer of Lucero, remains an avid D&D gamer. Then today, while perusing my Twitter feed, I see that Ryan Adams, perhaps the greatest songwriter of my generation, has posted a picture of an AD&D rulebook. And, not to be denied, former Drive-By Trucker and singer-songwriter extraordinaire Jason Isbell, expressed his own excitement at playing.
Did I somehow step into the Twilight Zone or something? Are all of my favorite artists really as dorky as me? Sure, I haven’t seriously played in nearly 20 years, but all those late nights of storytelling and dice throwing still hold a special place for me.
The Weather Balance January 31, 2012
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: balance, hippie librarian, weather
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At lunch today I went by the library, then outside to the park to read in this wonderful spring-like January weather, but before heading out, I checked out a book and made small talk with one of the librarians.
Librarian: How about this weather? Pretty nice, huh?
Me: Yeah, it’s really great. I wonder what January weather like this will do to the summer. Will it be even hotter?
Librarian: I don’t think so. See, it all stays balanced. It keeps a certain equilibrium. So, when winter is really cold, we have hot summers.
Me: And when we have a mild winter, we have a mild summer.
Librarian: Exactly. It’s all about the balance.
Balance. I like that. Let’s hope it’s true.
Escape to the Library November 28, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: escape from work, libary, Monday, rainy day
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It was raining.
This was no torrential downpour, nor was it a faint sprinkling, a misting of water vapor, no this was rain, pure and simple. Somewhere far above my head, resting quite comfortably at an incredibly average five feet 9 inches from the ground, the floodgates of the heavens had opened and let lose , not with a fury, but with a resigned sigh, half-heartedly pelting the earth with the cold, life-giving liquid, giving the perception that Memphis was perhaps not worth the full might of Jack Frost’s wintry blast.
Despite the fact that I occupy a mid-building cubicle far from windows bestowing the magical gift of viewing the outside world, I had some awareness of the atmospheric conditions outside this three story office building on the south side of Memphis, which perhaps makes it even more humorous, in a sadistic, self-flagellating sort of way, that I chose to get out of the office at lunch, to face the wrath of mother nature and perhaps keep my own sanity. The drab world of cubicles sometimes reminds of the book/movie The Road, with penetrating visions of an apocalyptic wasteland populated with side-by-side hovels where people cower in hopes that marauding bands of upper management types don’t find them and weigh them down with another soul-sucking task flashing across my mind.
Outside the gray sky melded with the asphalt to create a dull sheen, annihilating the late autumnal beauty, covering it with a dingy veil. The rain fell and the 40 degree temperature chilled to the bone, but I needed to escape, even if just for a short time, and I knew just where to go.
Thank God for the library.
It Certainly Does Suck November 10, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: office job, sucking my will to live, Wayne's World
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Do you ever have those days where you are incredibly busy doing humdrum, busy work in front of a computer, clicking away at a neverending stream of numbers that seem to disappear into oblivion? I do. And sometimes I just want to cry out at the lifeless computer screen, “It’s sucking my will to live!”
I See a Darkness November 7, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: darkness, Daylight Savings Time, fall
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Or, the reason why I hate the end of Daylight Savings Time
Seriously, do we have to do this? You know, I love the Fall, with its beautiful splashes of colors, cooler temperatures, and the greatest invention of humankind, football, but do we really need to fall back? Sure, it’s nice in the short term when you get to sleep/stay up an extra hour, but after that its a complete downer. To me, there are few things more depressing than leaving work when its dark outside, especially when you have an interior office and little access to windows.
So, its that time of year in which very little daylight is visible is here and, since I’m neither an undead creature or an Alaskan, it kind of sucks.
Oh well, at least it’s still football season…
American Pipedream November 2, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: dream of a cubicle dweller, simple living, thoreau
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I often think of what I might do with my life if I were debt-free and independently wealthy – not terribly rich, mind you, but with enough of a stash to aid in times of unexpected distress.
I’d like to think I would do as the great John Prine sang, “Blow up your T.V., throw away your paper,” or as Thoreau so succinctly put it, “Simply, Simplify, Simplify.” I envision a simple house with a little self-sustaining farm, maybe with a large garden and a chicken coop, maybe even a few goats or something and a little pond for fishing. I would have a nice nook filled with books and a place to pursue my passion for writing.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not an unhappy person, not by any means, but I do sometimes tire of the traffic and the bills and the rat race that only seeks to destroy, to drag you into the mire and hold you under, flailing about for air.
But, anyway, that’s my dream. Hey, it could happen, right?
The Cubicle Life November 1, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: cubicle life, monotony, office job, the outside world
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The walls of my cubicle are drab and gray, enclosing me in a cocoon of dreary angst, one in which every contact, whether personal or electronic, could destroy the positive vibes developing from this day. The otherworldly glow of fluorescent lights above illuminates my office, but I can feel the sun and the outside air calling me, beckoning me to come nearer, to join them in the neverending dance of nature. I pine for the Fall breeze, the colorful leaves, the absolutely perfect day happening at this very moment, of which I am acutely aware but cannot see. I straighten up ever so slightly in the vain hopes that perhaps I may see the sunlight from a faraway window, that maybe the sight of blue skies will suffice in filling this longing. Peering over the edge of the low cube wall I can almost catch a glimpse, when suddenly I hear a voice.
The guy in the next cube glances up at me expectantly, “Need something, Matt?”
Shaken from my trance, I answer with some embarrassment, “No, just stretching.”
I go to down again, to assume my position in this 8×8 cell, when I see a figure in my peripheral vision. It’s a higher up boss and he’s heading my way.
I duck down and try to keep low, but seconds later he descends upon my box-like domicile.
“Hey, Matt, had a chance to work on the abc reports (not the real name of a report, but easier to type for this story) yet?”
“Uh,” my mind goes blank for a moment, “I was just working on that.”
“Ok, great, great. Hey, do you think there’s any chance you could include some more data in it?”
“Well, sure I guess. I mean it’s already several thousand lines long, but I’m able to add more to it.”
“Great, well could you add ‘d’ to it, please? And could you divide that into periods and locations?”
A weight falls on my head as I consider the consequences of this action. “I can, but you do realize that will make this report over 100,000 lines long, right?” In my head I’m wondering how any mortal being could ever find the time to comb through that type of data as I talk, but in deference to authority, I keep my mouth shut.
“Yeah, sure, that’s fine. The more the better, right?”
I let out a fake chuckle, all the while questioning the sanity of my coworkers, “Yes sir, I can get it.”
“You know what else would be great, Matt? Could you also add part ‘z’ to the report?”
“’Z’? I don’t think that exists.”
“Well, then you’ll just have to create it, right?”
“Uh, well, I…”
“Thanks, Matt. I’ll need that by tomorrow.”
And so I get back to work and dream of green grass and sunlight.
Finding the Connection October 18, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: connection to the universe, cubicles, My Morning Jacket, stormy day, work
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Thunder rolled over the city, growling and coughing like God trying to clear some celestial phlegm from his throat. It was soon joined by the rain, attacking the ground with machine gun ferocity, pounding away at the asphalt and the dirt over and over again, as the darkness of a cold October storm shrouded the land, leeching away any small bits of joy, extinguishing all hope, destroying the sanctity of sunshine.
And though I was spared the sight of the impending meteorological destruction of all happiness because of my mid-building cubicle, the one located along the main walkway where everyone strolls by and glances over with hopes of catching you looking at something illicit on the company computer, the melancholic mood permeated the building, infecting the workers like an unseen virus. Even my nondescript 8×8 cell in the midst of dozens of other cells felt the pall settling in the building. I sat, tapping away on the keyboard, creating meaningless report after meaningless report that will no doubt immediately end up in the recycling bin of everyone on the distribution list, as the almost daily feeling of my sanity slowly ebbing away began to take hold.
Feeling the need to escape, I slipped on my earbuds and pressed play on my beloved iPod. Soon the psychedelic sounds of My Morning Jacket and the unmistakable voice of Jim James exploded in my head, not pushing away the darkness, but embracing it, grabbing it about the waist and dancing with it.
Spinning out gracefully
Going nowhere quickly
I am older, day by day
Still going back to my childhood way
Circuital
Round and round patiently
Getting lost by the guide
And I am all worked up over nothing
Circuits all runnin’ out
Connect my body deep into the ground
Circuits connect the earth to the moon
And link our heavenly bodies
And not a moment too soon.
And I started to feel it, that connection. Despite the rain and clouds, the honking cars and incessant typing seeming to come from miles around, it was there, stretching out of my head and into the sky, a ribbon into the cosmos, running through the solar system to distant stars and beyond, until, until…
“Hey, Matt, what’s up?”
Coming out of my trance, I shook my head, breaking the connection and returning to earth. Looking up I saw it was the guy in the next cube, the one with the Elvis haircut and the picture of a Harley displayed prominently on his desk.
“Hey, man, not much. Just doing my work.”
“Hell of a storm.”
“Yeah, I could hear it.”
“But they say it’s supposed to be sunny and nice for the rest of the week.”
Suddenly I couldn’t help but smile, “Cool, man.”
“Yeah, cool.”
1977 and My Quest to Stop John Mayer October 16, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: 1977, birthday, Elvis Presley reincarnated, John Mayer is my mortal enemy, October 16, Star Wars prophecy
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I pushed the lever into the ON position and somewhere in the depths of the engine a motor whirred about noisily. Lights flashed and flickered all about, as I steadied the laptop sitting before me. J hurried about, gauging the mechanical progress of the rattling machine.
“Fusion Reactor?”
“Engaged.”
“Flux Capacitator?”
It’s a go.”
“What year did you want to revisit, Mr. Wisdom?”
“1977.”
“What’s so special about that year?”
“What do you mean, ‘what’s so special’? 1977 was an awesome year! It was the time of disco music, of Roots, of the Atari 2600!”
“Uh huh. Is that it?”
“No, of course not! It was also the year I was born!”
“You were born in 1977?”
“Yes, and I’ve long wondered about my birth taking place in that year.”
“How so?”
“Do you know what else happened in 1977?” J shrugged and shook his head, so I continued on, “Elvis died.”
“Really? Why does that have anything to do with…”
“Come now haven’t you connected the dots yet? Like The King, himself, I have dashing good looks and incredible dance moves?”
“Um”
“So obviously I am Elvis reincarnated.”
“OK…”
“Also, you’ve heard of a little movie called Star Wars?”
“Well yeah.”
“Its release in that year is an obvious foreshadowing of my own struggles against ‘The man,” of my own desires to rebel against the powers that be. Perhaps you could even say it was prophetic.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“J, I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life. I am the reincarnated spirit of Elvis Presley and the course of my life was foretold by George Lucas. It all fits so perfectly.”
“Is that it?”
“Well now that you mention it, there is another part of my plan that I have yet to bring to light. Do you know John Mayer?”
“The singer?”
“Yeah, the singer, you know the “Your Body is a Wonder Land” guy.”
J looks at me confused, “Yeah I know of him, why?”
I lower my voice to whisper and lean close to his ear, “You may not know this, but he’s my archenemy.”
J backs up looking at me like I just told him I rode a prehistoric lobster to the moon, “What are you talking about?”
“John Mayer and I were born the exact same day, October 16, 1977, but I was endowed with the spirit of Elvis. So, while I’ve got the looks and the ability, he’s stuck being John Mayer. Forever.”
“That doesn’t make any sense at all.”
“Oh really? You know that song he did, ‘Waiting for the World to Change’?”
“Yeah, I’m familiar with it.”
“Totally about me. He’s waiting for the world to change because he wants to kill me. No joke. His entire career has been about trying to destroy me. He is Darth Vader and I am Luke Skywalker.”
“Um okay,” J says with some degree of unsureness as he starts backing away. Suddenly he trips over something unseen and the room goes black. It was the power cord, he unplugged the power cord.
Seconds later the machine starts smoking and shaking violently.
“No!” I yell out, “My plan is ruined!”
J pulls himself to his feet, “Do something!”
“Quick,” I yell, “we have to shut it down!” Taking an oversized monkey wrench, I ram it into the machine and diodes and little electric parts spill onto the floor. “We must kill the flux capacitator!”
Finally, I ram the wrench into the machine with as much force as I can muster, and with a loud machinery groan, the time machine breathes its last and is dead.
Anger wells up inside me as I shake my fist at the sky, “Curses! Foiled again! You win this round, John Mayer, but next time you won’t be so lucky!”
A Morning Scene October 11, 2011
Posted by Matt in random.Tags: family, morning, Ryan Adams
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Steam rises from the black coffee like the dissipating spirit from a past time. She stands at the stove while I sit at the table. Ryan Adams sings in the background.
Last time I was here it was rainin’
It ain’t rainin’ anymore
The streets were drowned and the water’s waning
All the ruins washed ashore
I’m redoing your cream of wheat.
Not good?
Lumpy.
Oh. Ok.
Now I’m just lookin’ through the rubble
Tryin’ to find out who we were
Last time I was here it was rainin’
It ain’t rainin’ anymore
Is he still asleep?
Yeah.
You taking him to day care?
Yeah.
Ok.
So, may the wind blow
May the moonlight know your name
Guess I need to head to work.
Have a good day.
So, let the needle move the record ‘round
Till the walls cave in
And you and I are out there dancin’ in the dirty rain
Love you.
Love you too.
The door closes and I drive away.
