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Oh, Iowa… February 9, 2011

Posted by Matt in politics.
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Following President Obama’s “interview” with Bill O’Reilly on Super Bowl Sunday, the people of Fox News went to a focus group of Republican caucus voters in Iowa to get a view from conservative America.

Their assessment? Obama is a secret Muslim and/or the next Neville Chamberlain.

Wow. There is just nothing else that can be said.

American Idiots August 29, 2010

Posted by Matt in Obama, politics.
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Idiocy is not the inevitable consequence of human nature. Granted, people often times show themselves to be total and complete morons, but it generally takes a certain denial of reality, a choice to ignore the truth staring one in the eyes, to accept willful ignorance of factual information in favor of a predetermined conclusion for them to reach the point of stupidity.

Thus, we come to the question of Barack Obama’s religion. Anyone with an ounce of sense realizes that this is an inconsequential waste of time perpetrated by hateful fear mongers, but nevertheless the question persists. Today’s Commercial Appeal again showed this to be the case in its “Hot Button” section in which readers can make their opinions known about various issues related to the city, the country, or even the world. The question for today was as follows:

What opinion, if any, do you hold about whether President Barack Obama is a Christian or a Muslim?

I recently got into an ill-fated discussion with someone I know who insisted that it was their opinion that Obama was a Muslim Communist. I attempted to explain to them that it was nonsensical for one to have an opinion on an issue like this – that opinions are held for personal judgments, whether they be for something innocuous like one’s favorite type of cake or about something important like the validity of a judicial decree. Opinions are not appropriate for a statement of fact. It is like saying, “It is my opinion that the sum of two and two is ten.” Anyone with an ounce of sense knows that is ridiculous.

But I digress, today’s CA article listed several responses to the question and while most of them were logical and realistic, there were a few that stuck out like Glenn Beck at an NAACP convention. Here is a taste of a few of these slices of America.

Obama referenced visiting 57 states, and then blabbed about “my Muslim faith” with George Stephanopoulos. Michelle Obama has not once accompanied Obama on his visits to Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Iraq. Why? It is because Sharia law prohibits Muslims from bringing a wife on politically oriented trips.
Obama bowed to the Saudi king, to send a clear signal to all Muslims that he too, was Muslim. Finally, no Christian would ever announce “America is not a Christian nation.”
There is a very simple acid test to resolve this. Ask Obama to publicly state that he believes Christianity is the only way to salvation. If he cannot, he is not Christian.

Tommy ********, Memphis

Obama is a Muslim. I have a picture of him praying in a temple. He is also anti-Israel and his policies against Israel will bring down this country. The people that bless Israel will be blessed by God.

Betty *****, Memphis

I believe there is far more evidence suggesting Obama is a Muslim rather than a Christian. His actual religion is not a cause for concern. However, any person that is ashamed of their religion and attempts to conceal it to enhance their own personal agenda lacks courage and is unworthy of leadership.
If the majority of voters were Muslim, would Obama claim to be a Christian?

P. *****, Olive Branch

Crazy. Just crazy.

Uncovering the Conspiracy May 18, 2010

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A Scene from Tonight’s Glenn Beck Show

Beck: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have story to tell you about that will leave you terrified, frightened, scared beyond all bounds of possibility. We at the Glenn Beck Show have uncovered a sinister plot reaching the highest places in our government and to the lowest depths of depravity.

Beck (looking nervously over his shoulder with a Tourette-like motion): As most of you probably know, a new Miss America was crowned over the weekend, R-R-Rye-mah Fake-ee. (He displays a large picture of her in a bikini) Upon looking at her, you might say, ‘What a beautiful young woman!” But, then you begin to dive into her life and soon you realize things are not all they seem to be.

Beck pulls out his black board and begins writing furiously. Stepping back once he has successfully scratched out the name Rima Fakih.

Beck: So, we begin with Miss Fake-ee. She seems innocent enough, a young, beautiful girl from Michigan. (He draws a line from her name and writes Michigan above her) So, who else is from Michigan?

Beck (pausing a moment and looking expectantly in the camera): Exactly. Michael Moore. Filmmaker and filthy Communist, Michael Moore. Now, I’m not saying there has been any direct contact between Moore and Fake-ee, but it would be impossible for his influence to not rub off on her to some extent.

Beck: But that’s not the only aspect of her upbringing that should bring about some questions. Oh no, not at all! Miss Fake-ee was born in terrorist haven Lebanon and is a Shia Muslim! A Muslim! Can you believe it!

Beck (Drawing another line from her name to the words Lebanon and Shia Muslim): So, ladies and gentlemen, what do we know about Shia Muslims from Lebanon? That’s right, they are Hezbollah – a known anti-Israel terrorist organization! My fellow citizens of this great nation, Miss America is a Muslim terrorist!

Beck: A Communist Muslim, hmm? Who does that remind you of? Exactly! (he draws another line from Islam and Communism) President Barack Obama. And together, Miss Fake-ee and Obama are no doubt working with Satan himself to wage jihad on all that we Americans hold dear. Make no mistake about it, behind that beauty queen facade is a woman who wouldn’t think twice about strapping a bomb to herself and walking into your kids’ elementary school, and we all know how Obama is. Together they want to destroy our freedoms, our heritage, and our belief in Jesus Christ.
Beck Conspiracy Board

Beck (now sobbing and standing in front of an image of an American flag): Ladies and gentlemen, we, as American citizens, cannot allow this to happen. Look, I care about my country and I know you do as well. So, we must rise up and fight! Take up arms, my fellow Americans! This is not just any fight, this is a battle for our souls and the souls of our children! We must take back our country!

Beck: And, coincidentally, this is why I have decided to throw all of my support behind Dale Peterson, who is currently running for Agriculture Commissioner in Alabama. But, I believe he should be aiming even higher! Ladies and gentlemen, write, call, and email Mr. Peterson to let him know that his country needs him, we need him, and we will not settle until he is sitting in the White House!

Beck: Help me, everyone and maybe we can restore just a bit of this Christian nation’s greatness. No longer will we suffer under the Communist Islamo-Fascist tyranny. Instead, we will enter a new age of greatness, on in which blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauties will again be Miss America.

Courting Diversity May 11, 2010

Posted by Matt in politics.
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The Supreme Court of the United States is the most powerful body in the land, it’s lifetime appointments and law interpretations making it an integral piece of our government. Given that the nine justices are to represent some 300 million Americans, it would make sense that they be a fair sample of the population. So, we have liberals and conservatives, men and women, blacks, whites, and hispanics, but the question must be asked: Does religious diversity matter?

With the appointment of Ms. Kagan, a Roman Catholic, the Court now consists of 6 Catholics and 3 Jews, meaning that Protestants will not have any representation on the Court.

What do you think about that? Should Protestants be granted a spot or does it even matter?

A Scene from the Health Care Forum February 23, 2010

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Announcer: Welcome to today’s bipartisan forum on health care reform. In today’s event, President Obama is hoping to iron out some of the contentious details between the parties and bring a health care bill to Congress for a vote. Let us now turn to our President, Barack Obama.

Obama: Ladies and gentlemen of Congress, today we stand on the precipice of history with the opportunity to finally make some progress on the health care problem facing our country today. The journey has been long and arduous, with many ups and downs, but I believe we…

BRRRAAAAPPPP! A loud sound of flatulence fills the room. Mitch McConnell and John Boehner put their heads down and giggle like school boys.

Obama (continuing on, minimally flustered): …are ready to make a difference for the American people. The latest bill covers 31 million Americans who are currently without coverage.

Boehner (yelling at the top of his lungs): Commie!

Obama: It will lower health care costs.

McConnell: You dirty Marxist Socialist Islamo-Fascist!

Obama: And it will add nothing to the federal deficit.

Boehner: Liar! Don’t listen to him! He’s a tax-raising devil!

Obama: All that we ask is that Congress do their job and vote on the measure.

McConnell: No!

Boehner: NO! NO! NO!

Obama: Health care is the single most important issue of our time and we must act.

McConnell: Hitler was for health care reform too!

Boehner: So was Judas Iscariot!

Obama: So, now I would like to open the floor to our Republican colleagues. Please, feel free to offer any suggestions that you think would make this bill better.

The minutes of silent creep by. Boehner and McConnell eye each other nervously.

Obama (looking at his watch): Well?

Braaapppppp! Boehner and McConnell fall to floor, rolling around with laughter. Obama just shakes his head.

Announcer: Well, I guess that brings us to the end of our health care forum. Join us next time for another complete waste of time by our government in the name of bipartisanship.

Better Off Clinton? January 28, 2010

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You know, I support our president and have no regrets having voted for him…

But…

I can’t help but wonder if we might have been better off in our current situation with Hillary. Sure, she may have the tendency to be grating and carries the Clinton stigma, but I feel pretty confident that she would not have wasted as much time as Obama on failed reconciliation with the minority party.

What do you think?

Pre-State of the Union Wish January 27, 2010

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What I wish Obama would say in tonight’s State of the Union…

The state of the union is going to improve. I’ve decided that the dream of working in a bipartisan manner is just that, a dream. Our opponents are so filled with hatred and guile that they will blindly oppose any statement we make, thus it is no longer worth wasting the nation’s time on giving them any say. It is time that Congress and I do the job that you put us in office to do. No longer will we be held in check by false accusations and innuendo. As far as I am concerned, the opposition no longer exists.

Thus, as of tonight, I declare all wars in which the United States in involved to be over and we will welcome our troops home with great fanfare. The money saved will then be allocated to other, more important pieces of our agenda.

Next, we will pass a total health care reform bill that includes a public option and we will do it before summer. I mean, come on, we Democrat still have a 59-41 advantage in the Senate and a 70 seat advantage in the House. Ram it through, I say. Forget those who stand on the wrong side of history.

Tomorrow morning we will present a plan to the American public to reign in financial institutions that caused this economic mess and place far harsher limits and penalties upon those who do not have the public good foremost in their minds.

It is also time for some new, strict environmental laws and regulations and to turn our energy usage away from oil and to something renewable. Therefore, beginning tomorrow we will roll out a plan for renewable energy sources that employ wind, solar, and hydroelectric power. This will also involve harsh penalties being placed on companies who do not follow suit and large amounts of pressure on nations who do not.

And on and on…

Of course, we probably will only get calls for bipartisan efforts that will never come to fruition. Ho hum…

Unsure About a Surge November 24, 2009

Posted by Matt in Barack Obama, war.
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Today President Obama announced an increase in troop levels to “finish the job” in the 8 year old Afghanistan war and for once I find myself questioning the decision. Sure, I know that he has far more information than any of us, including know-it-all pundits, but the idea of continuing a war that has dragged on for so long and cost many American lives and piles of money, just doesn’t seem like a great idea.

I’m sure that part of my reluctance stems from the book I’m currently reading, Jon Krakauer’s latest tome, Where Men Find Glory, which tells the story of Pat Tillman while juxtaposing an account of Afghan history, particularly that which involves the root of Al-Qaeda and the Taliban.

Krakauer makes it quite clear that he believes an Afghan war to be impossible to win and he states his case quite persuasively. So, I can’t help but question a decision to continue trudging along in a war that is likely going to end in failure (if there is such a thing as “winning” a war anyway).

What do you think?

More Zombies October 7, 2009

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zombies

Following on the heels of my blog post last week about zombies and the current proximity to Halloween, I came up with a great idea for a zombie movie. I’ll give you a rough outline of the plot so that you can let me know what you think.

The film opens with a scene at a construction job where the workers are taking a break for lunch. As a group of them sit at a picnic table eating their sandwiches, a fellow worker walks up. He is blankly staring off into space with his arms outstretched in front of him as he lurches forward.

“Ralph,” calls out one of the workers at the table, “What’s wrong, buddy? You don’t look to good.”

Ralph’s attention turns toward the man and he says in halting, broken words, “Marxists, bwaaaaaa!” He then leaps at the man, ripping at him with his teeth and spraying the ground with blood.

As Ralph attacks and kills all of the men at the table, the camera pans back to his truck, where an AM radio talk show can be heard playing over the car stereo.

As the plague spreads, it becomes clear that the source of the disease is the AM radio frequency, which someone has hijacked to emit a special sound wave that causes the brain to deteriorate and turns listeners into mindless automatons looking to wreck havoc on civilization as we know it, all the while repeating meaningless slogans and accusations that they themselves do not understand. Some of them even sob hysterically for no known reason other than the fact that their brain cells have been decimated.

But there is one man who stands against the zombie plague and brings together America to fight the powers that seek to destroy them and the ideals they hold dear – Barack Obama: Zombie Hunter. Though there are some of the creatures that are too far gone and must be destroyed, the majority of them can be cured by turning of the radio and reading a book.

What do you think? Is it a sure blockbuster?

The Disturbing State of American Politics September 30, 2009

Posted by Matt in Barack Obama, politics.
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I would like to encourage you to read Thomas Friedman’s recent column in the New York Times regarding the rapidly accelerating descent into madness that American politics has become. Friedman compares the current climate to that of Israel in 1995, just before Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated. He points to rabid attempts by opponents to delegitimize their leaders as the common thread between the two.

Michael Steele, of all people, calls Friedman a nutjob and says that nothing could be farther from the truth.

But, in a land where town hall meetings are taken over by idiocy and the latest Conservative star, Glenn Beck, has raised his status considerably by inducing paranoia and fear in masses of worried viewers, Friedman may not be that far off after all.

What do you think?

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