Political Hugs November 17, 2009
Posted by Matt in politics.Tags: Ahmadinejad, Charlie Crist, Chavez, George Bush, hugs, John McCain, Obama, politics, Sarah Palin
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Lately there has been quite the uproar over a photo showing Florida governor Charlie Crist embracing President Obama when he was in the state to pitch the stimulus package from earlier this year. Of course, this small gesture goes beyond a mere hug. This is no mere friendly embrace. Rather, this only proves to detractors that Crist has taken on the Communist Socialist Fascist ideals of President Obama. See the picture below:
Now this isn’t the first instance of a hug going beyond its surface meaning, signifying something deeper. The Washington lovefest always carries with it an interesting undercurrent.
First we have the “Yes, I have sold my soul” hug.
Then the, “Out of my way, old man, and watch where you put your hands” hug.
And of course there is the, “Oh, you hate America too” hug
Let the Vice-President Sweepstakes Begin! June 4, 2008
Posted by Matt in politics, President 2008.Tags: Bobby Jindal, Charlie Crist, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Ronald Reagan, vice president
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Now that the presumptive candidates have been identified in our quaintly antique two-party system, it is time for us to examine their possible running mates. There may be few jobs cushier than that of the vice president, who historically only emerges from his hole in the ground to make the rare, tie-breaking Senate vote or to take over the leadership helm in the untimely event of a president’s death. While Franklin Roosevelt once famously said that the office of vice-president, “wasn’t worth a bucket of warm pee,” it is still looked upon as an important decision by the nominees – especially in our 24-hour media world that is in desperate need of time-filling headlines. So, let’s take a look at some of the possibilities for each of the candidates:
John McCain – There are two points on which McCain has thusfar based his candidacy – his years and years and years of experience and his supposed expertise in national security. But there are two other factions of the Republican party that he must cater to, besides security: social conservatives and business people. While he certainly has the Republican presidential look (old, rich, and white), there are many that remain unconvinced in the GOP ranks. Who could he bring in to help shore up the party?
Mike Huckabee:
Positive: Likeable guy who would help McCain make inroads in the conservative Christian community
Negative: Thinks The Flintstones is a documentary.
Mitt Romney:
Positive: Business background has great appeal to the financially-minded segment of the party.
Negative: Mrs. And Mrs. And Mrs. And Mrs. Romney.
Charlie Crist:
Positive: Popular governor of a battleground state (Florida). His last name is almost the same as Jesus’.
Negative: Rumored to be homosexual – possibly for once dating Katherine Harris.
Bobby Jindal:
Positive: Young (37 years old) governor of Indian descent in a Southern state (Louisiana). Rising star in the Republican party.
Negative: Too much melanin in his skin cells.
If you listen to McCain or any other Republican in a leadership position speak, though, there is only one name repeated over and over in an affectionate cadence: Ronald Reagan. So, the question remains: who can be the next Reagan?
But, why stop there? Why try to find someone with the same value-system and charisma as Ronald Reagan? Why not bring back Reagan, himself? Which leads me to:
My choice for McCain’s vice-president:
Ronald Reagan as a brain-eating zombie.
Why not? Can you imagine what the debate would be like?
Moderator: Mr. Reagan, how do you feel about the health care crisis?
Reagan: BWAAAHHHH!!
Say what you want, that would definitely serve to spice up his campaign, though it would probably be the first time that a VP would have to spend his entire tenure restrained to keep him from attacking anyone nearby. And then there is also the possibility that zombie Reagan could get loose and start a global epidemic that would wipe out all of mankind.
But, that’s a small price to pay….right?
