Political Hugs November 17, 2009Posted by Matt in politics.
Tags: Ahmadinejad, Charlie Crist, Chavez, George Bush, hugs, John McCain, Obama, politics, Sarah Palin
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Lately there has been quite the uproar over a photo showing Florida governor Charlie Crist embracing President Obama when he was in the state to pitch the stimulus package from earlier this year. Of course, this small gesture goes beyond a mere hug. This is no mere friendly embrace. Rather, this only proves to detractors that Crist has taken on the Communist Socialist Fascist ideals of President Obama. See the picture below:
Now this isn’t the first instance of a hug going beyond its surface meaning, signifying something deeper. The Washington lovefest always carries with it an interesting undercurrent.
First we have the “Yes, I have sold my soul” hug.
Then the, “Out of my way, old man, and watch where you put your hands” hug.
And of course there is the, “Oh, you hate America too” hug
Naughty or Nice – Vol.2 December 15, 2008Posted by Matt in Christmas.
Tags: George Bush, politics, Rod Blagojevich, Santa, Sarah Palin
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Ho Ho Ho! Hello boys and girls, this is Santa Claus and I will be filling in for Matt today. You may remember that Matt let me write a bit last year as well and I have to say that it was the greatest gift I received. Most of you probably don’t know this, but I regularly keep up with American politics. Yes, many are the nights that Mrs. Claus and I snuggle up together and, between the nightly showings of Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life, switch the channel over to C-Span while enjoying our nightly snack of milk and cookies.
I was working through the final revisions of my list and, while checking it twice, I came across several political figures that I wanted to share with you. To my great disappointment, many of the leaders are quite naughty, but as always there are some bright spots. These are some of the gifts that I have set aside for them.
Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich: Naughty, naughty, naughty! Governor, for you I have a series of visits to the prison pychiatrist.
President George Bush: Your Christmas gift is one that Americans are very excited about, a One-Way ticket to Texas. Also included: permission for Texas to secede from the Union.
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin: Underneath your tree this year you will find a special gift from me, Governor, a copy of Darwin’s Origin of the Species, as well as a science dicctionary to help with those hard, multisyllabic words.
To this guy:
I give you another pair of shoes.
Speaking of Shoes… December 14, 2008Posted by Matt in politics.
Tags: George Bush, Iraq, shoe throwing, video
Who wouldn’t want to do this?
A Voyage of Self-Discovery October 15, 2008Posted by Matt in politics, President 2008.
Tags: Barack Obama, George Bush, liberalism, politics, president, self discovery, voting
Note: The inspiration for this post came from two main sources: Harding student Stephanie O’Brian’s “Why I Became a Liberal” on the excellent Political Cartel blog and from my former classmate R-Liz’s comment and my answer to her on my last blog entry.
Those of you who know me personally know that my way of thinking has changed a good deal over the years. It’s true, I wasn’t always the liberal thinker that at least some of you have come to know and love. Once upon a time, things were different…
Growing up in the 80’s and early 90’s I don’t recall politics ever really being a source of dinner table conversation, even to the point where I did not even realize my parents’ political leanings until I reached adulthood. If I had to label my political standing the first time I voted, in 1996, it would be as an apathetic independent, an identification that was readily apparent given that I actually cast a ballot for Ross Perot (I know, I know…).
1996 also marked the beginning of the next chapter in my life as I began my 4+ year journey through the hallowed halls of Harding. Along the way my malleable mind (which was even more so given that I had recently suffered a massive head injury) was regularly bombarded with conservative thinking always presented as absolute fact, in which the evils of liberalism were equated with Satan itself. Further complicating matters, the following year I met, dated, and married (yeah, I’m a Harding statistic) a young woman from an ultra-conservative military family who firmly believed that Bill Clinton was in league with drug-dealing, homosexual, terrorists that ate small children alive.
So, against my better judgment and despite the little voice in my head telling me that it was the wrong way to proceed, my leanings turned more to the right, though I never gave up my status as an Independent. So, between pressures from in-laws, HU, and the good folks at Ahlf Jr. High (where I was student teaching that semester), I held my nose and voted for Bush in 2000….an action for which I have repeatedly repented ever since.
Over the next few years things changed dramatically. Once out of school and no longer being forced to read, I rediscovered my love for the written word. Soon I was finally reading all of the classic literature that had been assigned to me over the past several years. I’m not exactly sure what the connection is, but there is no quicker way to turn to the left than to pick up a book (and not one written by Rush Limbaugh) and read.
In 2003, the airwaves were filled of talk about possible WMDs piled in stockades within the borders of Iraq. The U.N. inspectors were sent in to try and find them, but, before they could complete the job that had been given to them, Bush pulled them out and declared war. That was my final turning point.
In 2004, we moved to the suburbs of Memphis and somehow became involved for a short time with a church (don’t ask) that toed the most radical of right wing lines. From those around us we were regularly subjected to either wildly inane assertions about John Kerry’s lack of military valor (his purple hearts weren’t real!) or blatant fear-mongering. From the pulpit we heard weekly sermons about how we should vote and what issues should matter (abortion and gay marriage) above all others. Needless to say, my John Kerry vote was canceled out 1,000 times over by my fellow church-goers, and we didn’t last much longer in that congregation.
Now, in 2008, I feel more confident than ever before about where I stand. Sure, I still self-identify as an Independent, but now one that leans pretty far to the left….maybe even past many of the Democrats that I know. I guess this is a story that is more about self-realization than conversion from one side to another because, deep down, I think I always knew how I thought about things. For the first time in my short period as an American voter I actually feel good about my choice for president. I finally feel as though someone whose values tend to mirror my own is running and I will be proud to cast my ballot for Barack Obama in a few weeks.
Reductio ad Hitlerum May 15, 2008Posted by Matt in politics.
Tags: George Bush, Godwin's Law, Hitler
The Fight for the Presidency January 23, 2008Posted by Matt in Hillary, humor, Obama, politics, President 2008.
Tags: Barack Obama, CNN, George Bush, Hillary Clinton, politics, president, wrestling
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For some reason, WordPress ate part of my story earlier – that’s why it didn’t make very much sense.
Anderson Cooper: Hello and welcome to our first-ever Altercation for the Nation. As you may have heard after their recent debate, Hillary Clinton stated that opponent Barack Obama is “looking for a fight.” So we at CNN decided that we would give them just what they wanted.
The camera pans out and the audience can see a large wrestling ring behind him.
Cooper: Let’s go to our ringside reporter, Wolf Blitzer. Wolf, how are things looking down there now.
Blitzer: Anderson, you can cut the tension down here with a knife. The Clinton and Obama fans are pressing in around the ring, anxious for their candidate to get on with the fight. Their anticipation was diverted for a bit by the opening bout, which featured former candidate Tom Tancredo being pummeled by a group of luchadores. After Bill Richardson emerged from the crowd and hit him with the steel chair, he didn’t have a chance.
Cooper: I’d say not! Who have you spotted in the audience?
Blitzer: Actually I have candidate John Edwards with me right now. Senator Edwards, what do you make of the upcoming bout?
Edwards is pouting with his head in his hands.
Edwards: Why won’t they let me play? Why? Why?
Blitzer: Well, you did only get 4% of the vote in Nevada.
Edwards puts his head back down with a sad look on his face.
Suddenly, loud music blasts from the speakers, Dum Dum Da-Dum, Dum Dum Dum Da Da Dum Da-Dum – the Darth Vader theme song from Star Wars
Blitzer: Hillary Clinton is making her way down the aisle accompanied by her husband, the former president, to a cacophony of cheers and boos.
Hillary climbs into the ring and raises her arms in a muscular salute to the teeming masses.
Music comes across the loudspeakers again – this time playing James Brown’s “Say It Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud.” Obama glides down the aisle, followed by his wife, to thunderous cheers and he points at Bill Clinton while dancing toward the ring.
Cooper: Wolf, has there been any sign of our referee, former president Jimmy Carter?
Blitzer: No Anderson, we have yet to see him. Let’s see if he’s in the back.
A video is shown on the jumbotron of a person making their way to the back. Chairs have been strewn about and tables upturned. And then, lying facedown on the floor, is 82 year old Jimmy Carter, knocked out cold.
Cooper: Oh no, who will referee the match now that President Carter is not available?
Before he even finishes his question, the loudspeakers kick on again – this time playing Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue.”
Hillary and Obama turn and look at the entryway, mouths agape and with bewildered expressions.
Blitzer: Anderson, why it’s President Bush and he’s dressed from head to toe in a red, white, and blue cowboy outfit.
Bush struts down the aisle in his outfit, complete with a gigantic, oversized belt buckle. He then pulls six shooters from his belt and fires at the ceiling and calling out, “Yee-Haw!”
Bush climbs into the ring and grabs the microphone away from Wolf Blitzer.
Bush: Gimme that. Well, it seem as though Jimmy ain’t gonna make it to yore little party this evenin’. So, as the president of the United States, I declare myself the new special, secret guest referee. Hehehehe. This oughta be fun.”
To Be Continued…
Naughty or Nice? December 19, 2007Posted by Matt in Christmas, Obama, politics, President 2008.
Tags: Barack Obama, Christmas, George Bush, Hillary Clinton, Mike Huckabee, politics, president, Santa
Ho Ho Ho! Hello, boys and girls, this is Santa Claus and I’ll be filling in for Matt today. Most of you probably don’t know this, but I regularly keep up with American politics, especially with another election looming just over the horizon. Yes, many are the nights that Mrs. Claus and I snuggle up together and, between the nightly showings of Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life, switch the channel over to C-Span while enjoying our nightly snack of milk and cookies.
I was making out my list and, while checking it twice, I came across several political figures that I wanted to share with you. To my disappointment, the majority of the leaders are quite naughty, but, as usual, there are also bright spots.
Hillary Clinton & Mitt Romney – NAUGHTY
Ho Ho Ho, your crocodile tears don’t fool Santa! I see you when your sleeping, I know when your awake and I know when you try to trick us with false emotion! And, no Mr. Romney, I will not give you another wife for Christmas! Lumps of coal for both of you!
Mike Huckabee – NAUGHTY
Santa doesn’t like it when you shamelessly exploit Jesus for political purposes. Double lumps of coal for your audacity!
U.S. Senate – NAUGHTY
Stockings full of coal for all 100 of you. Approving $70B for more war is not in the Christmas spirit!
President Bush – NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY!
Shame, Shame, Shame! Santa Claus loves children, so your vetoes of their health care bills have placed you permanently on the naughty list!
Barack Obama – NICE
Perhaps it is his genial nature or his seemingly genuine profession of faith. Maybe it is his desire for peace. Whatever the reason, Obama get the endorsement of this jolly old elf!
So, there you have it – Santa’s own political thoughts! Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!