NCAA Tournament Mascot Fight 2010 – The South March 16, 2010
Posted by Matt in NCAA Tournament.Tags: mascot fight, NCAA Tournament, picks
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Over the past three blog entries, we’ve asked the question on everyone’s mind – if the mascots of the NCAA Tournament teams got in a fight, who would win? We’ve seen the Midwest, West, and East divisions, so now we will take on the South.
Round 1:
Duke Blue Devils vs. UAPB/Winthrop
It doesn’t matter which team they face, always bet on the devils and their demonic powers.
California Golden Bears vs. Louisville Cardinals
No contest. The Bears will be eating cardinal nuggets.
Texas A&M Aggies vs. Utah St. Aggies
Draw. The two groups of aggies will talk themselves to death conversing about crops and tractors and stuff.
Purdue Boilermakers vs. Siena Saints
According to Wikipedia, a boilermaker is a craftsman who produces steel fabrications from plates and sections. A Saint is a person of God. Go with God.
Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs. Old Dominion Monarchs
Notre Dame are not just Irish, they are fighting Irish, like a boxer or Fit Finlay. Monarchs are kings and queens who sit around with their crowns on their heads and pinky fingers in the air. Irish all the way.
Baylor Bears vs. Sam Houston St. Bearkats
A bear could definitely take out a smaller bearcat.
Richmond Spiders vs. St. Mary’s Gaels
The Gaels are an ethno-linguistic group originating from Ireland that should have no trouble smacking down a spider, even if it’s a poisonous one.
Villanova Wildcats vs. Robert Morris Colonials
Colonial people are self-reliant, tough, probably armed, and have little regard for lesser species, so they should be able to take out a wildcat.
Round 2
In round 2, look for the Blue Devils to wield the powers of hell and destroy the Golden Bears. The Saints get a bye due to the lack of Aggies. While a fighting Irishman might be tough, I’d put my money on a wild bear and the Colonials should take out the Gaels because, well, I don’t know what a Gael would do.
Sweet Sixteen
Blue Devils vs. Saints – I’ll go with God and the Saints this time. The Colonials are armed, so they should be able to take out a bear.
Elite Eight
The Saints still have the Man Upstairs on their side, so I’ll take them over the Colonials who are most likely deists anyway.
NCAA Tournament Mascot Fight 2010 – The East March 16, 2010
Posted by Matt in NCAA Tournament.Tags: East, mascot fight, NCAA Tournament, picks
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Over the past two blog entries, we’ve asked the question on everyone’s mind – if the mascots of the NCAA Tournament teams got in a fight, who would win? We’ve seen the Midwest and West divisions, so now we will take on the East.
Round 1:
Kentucky Wildcats vs. East Tennessee St. Buccaneers
A buccaneer is a pirate, an armed, bloodthirsty, underhanded fighter who should easily be able to take out a wildcat.
Texas Longhorns vs. Wake Forest Demon Deacons
Sure, a longhorn is big and strong and tough, but we’re talking about a demon deacon here. Give it to the team with the powers of hell on their side.
Temple Owls vs. Cornell Big Red
Another color team, ho hum. Even an owl can beat a color.
Wisconsin Badgers vs. Wofford Terriers
Those of us from Beebe know how tough badgers can be. And really, a terrier? Come on, give this one to Wisconsin.
Marquette Golden Eagles vs. Washington Huskies
If the husky could get the eagle on the ground, it would no doubt win, but I’m going with the eagles this time. They are just too powerful and patriotic, while Huskies are too Russian.
New Mexico Lobos vs. Montana Grizzlies
A wolf fighting a grizzly bear is an intriguing matchup, but I’ll have to go with the overpowering grizzly this time around.
Clemson Tigers vs. Missouri Tigers
A tiger fighting a tiger? Draw.
West Virginia Mountaineers vs. Morgan St. Golden Bears
A mountaineer probably has a pick in hand to fight with, but I’ll have to go with the bear.
Round 2:
In round two I see the Demon Deacons ripping the souls from the Buccaneers, thus ending their run. The owl may be able to attack from above, but seriously, we’re talking about badgers here and they are awesome. The grizzlies should feast on the golden eagles and the golden bears advance with a bye.
Sweet Sixteen:
The badgers’ unlikely run ends when the evil demon deacons come to fight. A bear fight between a grizzly and a golden bear looks better on paper than it does in real life, where the monstrous grizzly no doubt destroys their cousin.
Elite Eight:
Grizzlies have proven to be tough attackers, but the powers of the demon deacons will just be too much for them to handle.
NCAA Tournament Mascot Fight 2010 – The West March 16, 2010
Posted by Matt in NCAA Tournament.Tags: mascot fight, NCAA Tournament, picks, West
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Yesterday we asked the question on everyone’s mind – if the mascots of the NCAA Tournament teams got in a fight, who would win? We’ve already looked at the Midwest division, so today we will move on to the West.
Round 1:
Syracuse Orange vs. Vermont Catamounts
A color against a mountain lion? The Catamounts will tear it apart.
Gonzaga Bulldogs vs. Florida St. Seminoles
While bulldogs can be ferocious, Seminoles are probably armed with bows, arrows, tomahawks, and other deadly weapons. Give this one to the Seminoles.
Butler Bulldogs vs. UTEP Miners
Though the fight could be a bit gruesome, miners probably have picks which they can use as weapons to take out the dogs.
Vanderbilt Commodores vs. Murray St. Racers
I’ll go with the naval figure over the snake. Vandy wins.
Xavier Musketeers vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers
Even though the Golden Gophers are one of my favorite team nicknames, they will be no match for people armed with muskets.
Pittsburgh Panthers vs. Oakland Golden Grizzlies
Now this is a fight – panthers vs. grizzly bears. I’m sure it will be tough, but give this one to the heftier and stronger grizzlies.
BYU Cougars vs. Florida Gators
The cougars will be no match against the powerful jaws of the gators.
Kansas St. Wildcats vs. North Texas Mean Green
Look, I don’t care how mean they are, North Texas is still merely a color, so the Wildcats will prevail.
Round 2:
In the second round, I envision the Seminoles hunting down the catamounts with relative ease and the well trained commodores to defeat the miners. The musketeers may get off a shot or two at the grizzlies, but that won’t be enough to stop them and the Gators will have the wildcats for lunch.
Sweet Sixteen
The battle-hardened Seminoles may take some hits against the commodores, but they can probably defeat people from the navy in hand-to-hand combat. The grizzly and gator matchup is intriguing, but the overall power of the bear should be too much.
Elite Eight
The Seminoles, like other native Americans, have become masters over nature, but I would reckon that they have rarely seen anything as large and powerful as a grizzly bear. It will be a tough and bloody battle, but, unless the Seminoles can keep the bears at a distance, they will fall, so give this one to the grizzlies.
NCAA Tournament Mascot Fight 2010 – The Midwest March 15, 2010
Posted by Matt in NCAA Tournament.Tags: mascot fight, Midwest, NCAA Tournament, picks
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Each year at NCAA Tournament time many hours are consumed poring over the teams in the brackets, studying their strengths and weaknesses, laboring over their strength of schedule and analyzing common opponents, all in order to choose the winners of the upcoming games. While I could do that, and I probably will at some point, I think it’s a little more fun to look at these teams in a different light, namely their mascots. So, as we have done in years past, we will now choose the winners of the tournament, not based upon their prowess on the court, but upon something even more important – whose mascot would win in a fight.
Midwest
Round 1:
Kansas Jayhawks vs. Lehigh Mountain Hawks
According to Wikipedia, the Jayhawk was a name adopted by militant abolitionist groups in Kansas. A Mountain Hawk is a bird of prey. The Jayhawk probably has a gun so give this one to Kansas.
UNLV Runnin’ Rebels vs. N. Iowa Panthers
It doesn’t matter how fast the rebel runs, the panther will get them.
Michigan St. Spartans vs. New Mexico Aggies
I believe an Aggie is a person who practices agriculture while a Spartan is an ancient warrior with a sword. Give this one to the Spartans.
Maryland Terrapins vs. Houston Cougars
Whether you mean for a Cougar to be a member of the cat family or an older woman looking for a younger man, they should be able to take a terrapin.
Tennessee Volunteers vs. San Diego St. Aztecs
Volunteers have muskets while Aztecs have spears. Go for the superior firepower.
Georgetown Hoyas vs. Ohio Bobcats
According to Wikipedia, a Hoya is a genus of tropical climbing plants, so you can give this one to the Bobcats.
Oklahoma St. Cowboys vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
The yellow jackets may get in a sting or two, but a well-placed swat would take care of them. Go with the Cowboys.
Ohio St. Buckeyes vs. UCSB Gauchos
According to Wikipedia, a buckeye is a type of woody tree or shrub. A gaucho is a South American cowboy who should make short work of a plant.
Round 2:
In the second round, I see the armed Jayhawks, Spartans, and Volunteers advancing to the Sweet Sixteen. The fourth game features cowboys from the American West against South American gauchos – a gunfight that could be a close match, but one that will have to eventually be won by the Americans because, well, they’ve got that whole John Wayne/Clint Eastwood/Stranger from the Big Lebowski vibe going.
Sweet Sixteen:
Look for the Jayhawks, who are armed with guns, to make short work of the Spartans and their ancient swords.
In the other game, I would choose the Cowboys with their pistols to defeat the Volunteers with their bulky muskets.
Elite Eight
Kansas Jayhawks vs. Oklahoma State Cowboys
Again give it to the Cowboys because, well, they are self-sufficient, well-armed cowboys….
